Posts Tagged ‘Uncategorized’

OK, I plead guilty for making a really bad joke with the title.

However, the man in question, Alan Tyers, is not as bad a joke as you may think.

In fact, he is the KING of Cricket Satire.

Here’s his latest post on the Wisden Cricketer, The Alternative Cricket Dictionary-Letter D

I thought of putting up some excerpts of it on this post. However, the whole post was so good that it would’ve been difficult to actually put an excerpt of the page on this post.

I had also started a Facebook Fan Page for him some time ago.

Join it so that you get updates on every cricket piece he writes.

Of course, this is under the assumption that he writes only for Cricinfo, Cricket365 and the Wisden Cricketer.

If anyone knows of any other website that he writes cricket pieces for, please do let me know in the comments section!


Hellos, everyone!

Yes, I’ve been extremely bad and haven’t been posting a lot lately, but with exams for 2 separate qualifications (over 3 days) coming next week, can you blame me? *putting on Bopara’s puppy expression*

However, I have to tell you, Jarrod‘s ‘When Freddie Became Jesus’ sure does serve a good purpose in keeping the mind away from all your stresses (including nagging friends).

I had started reading the first couple of pages when I got it in mid-January, but, for some reason or the other, I had stopped reading beyond the first 2 pages.

However, a couple of days ago, I opened the box which contained my ‘stash’ of cricket books and, my goodness, you wouldn’t believe the carnage that took place there!

Hoggy’s hair was in a mess (Welcome to My World by Matthew Hoggard), Gilly was in tears (True Colours by Adam Gilchrist) just like he was before WACA ’06/’07, Michael Simkins was half the size he was on the cover (Fatty Batter by Michael Simkins) and Warney had his latest range of ‘Spinners’ underwears on his head (Wisden 2007).

However, amongst the rubble, there he was. Jarrod Kimber, standing tall, grabbing Freddie by his cock and compelling me to read his book. He threatened that non – compliance would lead to Freddie’s cock becoming like a squeezed orange and, so, in the interests of Rachel Flintoff, I took it out and re-started reading it.

Anywayz, got through the first 50 pages and, I have to say, I do agree with Alex when he said the following in his book review of When Freddie Became Jesus

People always talk about the swearing and the sex references when they talk about Jarrod’s writing. Jarrod himself often plays up to this, but he’s doing himself a disservice in doing so. It makes it sound gimmicky, when it’s nothing of the sort. The truth is, he’s a sharp writer and the occasional ‘fucken’ is just window dressing.

Therefore, without further ado, *drumroll*, here are those absolute gems which I promised for yesterday, but at least remembered to post today! 😛

On seeing Richie Benaud for the first time in flesh in the media box

He was so close to me that I could have turned around and licked his trouser leg. And don’t think that it didn’t cross my mind

On the difference between the previous 2 ashes and the 2009 one

Where 05 and 06/07 had greatness, 09 had Ravi Bopara and Nathan Hauritz

His opinion on the Ashes as a whole

Like I said, the Ashes series is not between the best two team in the world, but between two teams that play the Ashes. Is it too late to invite South Africa and India?

Change of Nickname

Posted: January 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

Well, with the CA & NZC contemplating the possibility of nominating John Howard as the President of the ICC after 2011, I’ve decided to shed my nickname of Cricket Tragic.

The nickname, as you would’ve realized by now, was one given to John Howard when he tried to bowl a ball but couldn’t get it past half the pitch.

Instead, I’ve decided to use my own name as my nickname, so it’ll be Thiru Cumaran from now on. My name’s actually Thirucumaran and I do have a last name, but I’ve decided to go Kal Penn style!

I’ll also be changing my Twitter username as such, so don’t be shocked to see a new face in your ‘following’ list! 🙂

Alan Tyers, IMO, hasn’t been getting a lot of appreciation for his absolutely gut – rippingly funny posts on the Wisden Cricketer and Cricinfo. Heck, he has less followers than ME on his Twitter page.

When you have less followers than a lame-ass blogger in Sri Lanka, then you really are underappreciated!

Therefore, as a mark of support, I’ve created a Facebook page for him!

Please spread the word, y’all!

In the past few years, Mahela has really been a very curious case to follow.

He’s so prolific in Tests and always seems to get a hundred, whereas, when it comes to ODIs, there are just brief periods of excellence and plenty of times when he barely scores runs. Sri Lankan cricket fans will remember the last time he had such a bad drought, which was between 2003 and 2004. Most notable was the World Cup 2003, where he didn’t manage a single double-figure score, despite having played in all but one match.

I’ve recently discovered the wonders of Cricinfo’s Statsguru 2.0 and it’s allowed me to come up with this analysis.

This is a look at how consistent he has been across ODIs and Tests when compared to the 3 other batsmen who have been pretty much the mainstay for the last decade.

I have considered the achievement of an average of 35 and above as a good year. The minimum criteria for a particular year to be considered is 10 ODIs. The stats aren’t too surprising for ODIs. For Jayasuriya, it’s only fair to consider the stats from 1996 as it was in that year that he was pushed up the order.

Mahela Jayawardena – 4 out of 11 years (36%)

Marvan Atapattu – 9 out of 10 years (90%)

Kumar Sangakkara – 6 out of 10 years (60%)

Sanath Jayasuriya – 6 out of 14 years (43%) (had 34.something averages in 2 years)

As you can clearly see, Mahela has been the least consistent of the 4 batsmen. Jayasuriya’s lack of consistency is largely due to the fact that he’s an impact batsman, in that no-one really expects him to play a big innings every match, rather something like once every 3 matches or so.

Looking at the Test numbers, however, Mahela leads the pack. In this, I’ve considered an average of 40+ as a good year. The batsman should have played at least 2 matches in a year. The reason for the low qualification isbecause Sri Lanka generally doesn’t play a lot of test matches. Sanath’s stats from 1996 are only counted.

Mahela Jayawardena – 13 out of 14 years (93%)

Marvan Atapattu – 6 out of 10 years (60%)

Kumar Sangakkara – 7 out of 10 years (70%)

Sanath Jayasuriya –  6 out of 12 years (50%)

As you can see, Mahela is the runaway leader in this table, which clearly shows which format he favors.

What makes Mahela a very difficult case is because, in 4 innings in which he has opened, he has made 2 centuries at an average of 62.50, which is 30 runs higher than his career average. Moreover, these 2 centuries are the only centuries which he has made since 2008, making it a hard choice for the management, especially with 2 in-form openers.

There have been cries of ageism in Sri Lankan blogs, notably in Island Cricket. It is true because, if Jayasuriya had to be dropped, why not Mahela. Jayasuriya at least made a fairly good contribution with the ball regularly unlike Mahela, who rarely every bowls.

The selectors had taken a bold move by dropping Mahela from the original tour squad. I say dropped and not rested because, if a player has a groin injury and is made to sit out, I doubt that he would be in a position to be flown in at short notice to cover injuries to other players.

It does seem that when a number of players got injured (Pushpakumara, Dilshan and Silva), Sangakkara took the chance to fly in his best friend. I can’t imagine the selectors objecting to it as it would’ve been fairly difficult to throw in some more new players at such short notice.

The people here would greatly appreciate it if Mahela could just retire from ODIs gracefully and allow young talent like Dinesh Chandimal take his place.

I really do wonder why players in the Indian Subcontinent tend to stay till they are despised. Why can’t they just be graceful and retire on a high, like McGrath, Warne or Gilchrist?